This is the painting and the title I use for the last chapter of my book Healing, One Brushstroke at a Time. In that chapter, I share that I don't know the story ahead, but I do know God's presence will go with me.
This past week, I read through my blog posts on my previous website where I wrote posts for the teens. I uploaded several of those here on this website. It was emotional to read back through and to remember the grief and trauma that I was living in as I wrote those posts. I remember getting to the point where I couldn't bring myself to write any more blog posts. I remember picking up the paintbrush the first time as I began to process my pain through painting. My book shares that story.
A counselor told me this week that I have moved beyond survival mode. She said that I have done the hard work of working through trauma and post-trauma. It was encouraging to know that she thinks I have the tools and support in my life that I need and that I no longer need a trauma therapist.
I am aware that there will always be triggers and grief. But, knowing that God has been present and faithful in the very darkest places encourages me. If you had told me four years ago that I could continue living and breathing after the death of my oldest son and the death of my marriage, I would not have believed it.
Suicide and divorce were two words that I never wanted to encounter.
They are now part of my story.
It's not the story I wanted and I am not happy that this is my story. But I am so grateful that the God who created me loves me and has carried me through this incredibly painful time.
I hope to continue to see God's goodness as I take my next steps in this path of life. I hope that I will catch glimpses of His light shining through even when the path seems dark.
I invite you to come along with me. I hope to become faithful at writing blog posts again.
It's my desire to write two posts a week. One post will be more reflective about what God has taught me in this journey or what He is currently teaching me. The other will be a more lighthearted post called Friday Favorites and I will share three of my favorite things.
So, come back tomorrow to find out some things I am loving in my life right now!